Friday, March 31, 2006

30-Mar Fitness Journal

Day 4

Late night last night - was up til 0230. Which was stupid because I could have gone to bed earlier - I was playing with my blog, making plans in my head, etc. So I'm a bit tired today.

Proof that I shouldn't weigh myself daily - my weight was up today. Net is still a loss, but not much. Is it up due to all that candy yesterday or just because?

Weight = 151.2 (-0.6)

B detour bar
B L TH tea 2m, 1s
B jeunesse yogurt
S 2 PC fig newtons
L sm svg beef tortellini, pasta sauce, parm cheese
L apple
L few m&ms, plain (no really, a few)
S quaker chewy granola bar, choc chip
D 1 soft taco (tortilla, lean ground beef, salsa, cheddar cheese, light sour cream)
D 2 stoned wheat thin crackers
D 1/3 raw red pepper
S 2 timbits
S L TH tea 2m, 1s

Too many hours of meetings today. Ugh. At least I took my laptop and was able to do some work while I sat there, listening with half an ear.

It's like a virtual Friday for me because I'm working from home tomorrow. No, really, I do work when I work from home. I find I can get a lot done because I don't have people constantly asking me questions. (Bad, anti-social me.)

Bought Timbits for a breastfeeding support group that I help out with. Bought 20, only ate 2. For me, that's pretty good self-discipline.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

LC's last nursing

As referenced in a previous post, LC weaned at the end of Feb-06. I want to write down that last nursing session because I know I'll forget.

We woke up on the morning on Sunday, February 26, 2006. It was a sunny morning and we were all lying in bed, still sleepy. LC asked to nurse, in that charming voice, "Want to nurse, please." I pulled up my shirt and he latched on. He didn't nurse for all that long, it was really about comfort at this point, and routine. We lay there on our sides, and I started down at him and kissed the top of his head. I felt happy and proud and sad and excited that this was likely his last time breastfeeding. My tiny baby was now a 2.5 year old toddler and we had been through it all with breastfeeding. After he was done nursing, he popped off and announced that he was was hungry and wanted toast. And that was it! He was done.

2.5 years of breastfeeding

I am very, very proud that I breastfed my son for 2.5 years. The WHO standard (not the best link, sorry) is to breastfeed exclusively for six months, and then introduce complementary foods and continue breastfeeding until two years and beyond. I didn't know about this standard when I had my son, but we had all sorts of problems getting started breastfeeding and I had to learn a lot in a hurry. (A separate post on our troubles later.)

From the age of two, LC was nursing less and less often. Most days, it was 1-2 times a day - once at bedtime and once when he woke up. For the most part, it was a lovely way to spend time with him, was easy and made him so happy. I was in no rush to give it up. And he knew how to go to sleep without nursing - he's been falling asleep at montessori school naptimes for over a year. And the occasional evening when I was out past bedtime, Mr. Chili was able to help him go to sleep. Of course, some days LC nursed more - if he was teething or sick or just out of sort, it might go up to 3-4 times a day. By Jan-06, it was usually only once a day - at bedtime.

Early in the year, I found out that I had to go on a business trip at the end of Feb. I was sad and excited. I had managed to avoid all travel for the first 2.5 years of LC's life and I was happy about that. But I had to be away from him sometime. I would rather have had the timing be of my choosing, but *shrug* it was out of my hands. Up to that point, I had been letting LC set the pace of our child-lead weaning. Once I left on my trip, I anxiously checked in with Mr. Chili. They were having a great time. He fussed a bit at bedtime but quickly adjusted to my absence.

I had the choice of pumping to maintain my supply while I was gone. I packed my breastpump. But I was ready for LC to be done and I believed he was ready too. I was wondering if I would get engorged or any of the other problems other women encounter when weaning. Instead I had the most amazing experience. I had no fullness, no engorgement. I felt a bit of tingling the first and second day, that was it. I couldn't hand express milk by the third day (not that I tried very hard). I also felt great mentally - I felt strong, I felt good, I felt a sense of liberation. A bit of sadness that this chapter was done, especially since LC is likely to be our only child. But I felt an overwhelming sense of rightness. So no hormonal crash for me. All of this - LC 's reaction and my response - tell me that this was the right time for us to stop breastfeeding.

When I got home from my business trip, LC was asleep. I had been gone for six days. I cuddled up with him in bed. He woke long enough to give me a sleepy smile, roll over and ask to nurse. I removed my bra (no more nursing bras!) and lifted up my shirt for him. He latched and sucked for few moments. I asked if he was getting any milk. He came off, looked at me and said, "no". I told him that the milk was gone, but that I would cuddle with him and rub his back instead. I also said that he was a big boy now and how proud I was of him. He repeated back to me, "Milk all gone?" "Yes honey" And that was that. He asked at bedtime the next couple of nights, but more to confirm that the milk was gone. He hasn't asked to nurse in a long time now. I'm so proud of us.

Conversational tidbits from LC

Little Chili is pretty darned cute. He is not just talking in sentences now, he describes things in great detail - paragraphs, even.

So some tidbits from the past two montessori school dropoffs.

TH conversation #1:
LC "They have any timbits today?"
Me: "Well, they might honey. But we're just buying tea for mommy today".
LC: "Not coffee"
Me: "No, mommy doesn't drink coffee."
LC: "I drink coffee"
Me: "Really?"
LC: "No. I like tea."

TH conversation #2:
…No timbits question this morning. But the gem of the drive was at the drive through,
Disembodied voice from the speaker: "That will be one thirty five, please drive up."
Pause
LC: "What's onethirtyfive, mommy?"
Me: "That's how much my tea costs. How much money I have to pay for my tea. Sometimes I win a tea, but usually I have to pay."
Silence. How does one explain the concept of money??? Hm. Okay, wasn't that funny. But I was impressed by his observation.

Note 1: For anyone not familiar - TH = Tim Hortons. An incredibly popular coffee & donuts chain. As Mr. Chili says, "The best mediocre coffee you can buy!" Good, hot coffee, tea, donuts, muffins, now also has sandwiches, soup, etc.

Note 2: TH currently has their famous Roll Up the Rim to Win contest on. Order a coffee, drink it, roll up the rim and you might get...the chance to play again! I've actually won five free coffees (tea) this year.

Note 3: Okay, so I lie to my kid. Little, white lies. We treat him to Timbits (aka donut holes) every once in a while. This means that every time we're at TH, we get bombarded with "We getting Timbits?". So the standard response has been, "Gosh, honey, they're all out today." Which changed his standard question to, "They all out of Timbits today?"
I'm waiting for the day he just shouts his order into the speaker. Then we'll really be in trouble!

29-Mar Fitness Journal

Category: fitness

Bit sore today from my run yesterday. I cannot believe how out of shape I am. I mean a year ago, I was in good form, having just completed the Las Vegas half marathon, and was training for the Ottawa half marathon. Gosh, seems like a long time ago. What changed?

1. I've been forced back to full-time hours. So LC is at montessori school 5 days a week now. And momma guilt means that I just don't feel right going out two nights and weekend mornings to run.
2. I'm working so much (50-60 hour weeks) that I am not sleeping much, let alone having timet to run.
3. I'm actually enjoying being a mom now. (Yes, it did take me more than a year to get here.) I don't want to leave my guys! I want to hang out and have fun.

Weight: 149.2 (-2.6 lbs)

Onto the food journal:
B detour bar
B lg TH tea 2m, 1s
B jeunesse yogurt (og fat)
S 2 fig newtons
L 2 sl pizza (pepperoni from Pizza Pizza)
L 1 can diet coke
L candy! (few jellybeans, few licorice bits, few gummy bears) (prob 120 cal, 1g fat?)
S more candy (see above. Too many cals. Very bad.)
D PC pad thai (not low fat! 400cal, 20g fat)

Must stop eating candy! Damn my work and their free candy. Oh wait - no one forced me to take the candy. I took it. And now I'm the one eating it. And I will stop. Or not. *sigh*

It's 2244, I just got up after falling asleep with my son. I'm starving! But I am holding strong and just drinking my oh-so-tasty hot water. (Actually, I really like hot water - crave it even. Wonder what that means.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

VUR, Kidney links

I'll be updating this post regularly as I find relevant links for my son's condition.

Found 29-Mar-06:
(Feb-06) Are antibiotics necessary in children with VUR? New study funded.
In LC's case - hell yeah. He only has one working kidney right now. I'm not willing to risk another infection that damages the working one.)

(Oct-05) Reflux nephropathy
Some definitions. Nothing really new (to me).

Could LC have this? Nephrotic Syndrome

Questions for Sick Kids appt:
- Have we checked for protein in his urine? (symptom of nephrotic syndrome)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Want a bad kidney?

Category: Little Chili, kidneys

My son, whom I will affectionately refer to as Little Chili (or LC) has VUR. (Good article here.) It's not too big a deal, at least from the "it's not a fatal disease" perspective. But it is still stressful and worrisome. What it means is that the valves between his bladder and kidney don't work very well, particularly the one on the left, so he is prone to bladder infections. And in children under 6, bladder infections can lead to kidney infections and that leads to kidney damage (scarring).

How was this condition found? Good question. Not by the doctors. My son was a colicky, screaming baby almost from birth. He had a series of unexplained fevers, the worst one on New Year's Day, 2003, when he was just 3 months old. We knew he was sick because he was so listless. We felt like dumb new parents and went to the emergency department of a SupposedToBeGood local hospital. His fever came down with Tylenol, and by the time we were seen (3 hours later), the fever had abated. He had no other symptoms of a virus/cold - no congestion, no rash - just the fever. So they sent us home.

Long after the diagnosis, I talked to a friend, who is an urgent care paediatrician, who was baffled that they didn't check for a UTI by default. That's supposed to be the protocol - unexplained fever in a newborn (3 month old or less) = urine test.

LC continued to have a fever off & on, continued to be 'colicky', continued to be very small and we got a lot of grief about FTT (failure to thrive). It wasn't until months later, maybe Apr-04, that I asked the doctor about the discharge in his diaper. There was frequently a goopy discharge on the diaper. She immediately took a urine sample [Side note - urine samples on babies are not fun. It involves taping a plastic bag to the genital area and hoping that the kid pees while the bag is still reasonable sterile.]

The sample came back as a screaming infection. We had to immediately go to the hospital for a sterile sample to confirm the result. You know how they do that? They put a catheter right to the bladder. He was so small and he screamed so much. Then there was blood work. Then there was a referral to Sick Children's hospital.

In Jun-04, an ultrasound and VCUG revealed that he had reflux on both sides. Left side = Grade 3/4, Right side = 2 [5 = worst, 0 = no reflux]. Not to worry, they said, let's put him on a prophylactic dose of antibiotics. A small dose daily, to keep the urine sterile. Let's wait and see if he grows out of it. Oh - and let's do a DMSA scan, to check the kidneys. This is just routine, he wasn't that sick, so his kidneys should be fine.

Much reading and researching ensued between Jun and Dec. Then in Dec-04, we found out after a follow up u/s and DMSA scan that LC's left kidney is badly scarred and damaged. The left kidney doesn't appear to be growing at all. So he basically only has one working kidney. Now this is okay because you can live with one kidney (thank goodness). It means we have to watch his blood pressure (kidney scarring = prone to high blood pressure). It also means we have to continue to give LC a low dose of antibiotics every day to prevent more infections. We also have to be super-vigilant about any fever, for fear that it could be a bladder infection. So every fever means a urine sample and worrying.

At our last appt in Jun-05, we had another ultrasound and VCUG. The reflux appeared to be gone on the right side - yeah. But was still bad on the right side. In hindsight, I knew it was serious because the head of the urology department came in to see us, not the usual resident. He told us that it was unlikely the reflux was going to heal on the right side. It is also unlikely they can repair the reflux surgically. The best option is to remove the kidney. (Voice in my head saying "Holy shit - remove his kidney??!!!") He told us to continue on the antibiotics, since he was stable, to be vigilant about fevers and to come back in a year.

So we wait. Every doctor we've seen has been so surprised that he wasn't sicker with the amount of kidney damage. As in, he should have been septic and required hospitalization.

I've done a lot of googling to find out more. I can't find much about wonky kidneys like LCs. Lots about PKD, a terrible disease, but not one that my son has, if the doctors are correct. I want to find out more, make sure this is the right decision before I agree to remove an organ from my son.

Now I'm an analytical person (I'm an engineer, duh!). I want to understand the root cause of this. Was it the one infection that caused all the damage? Or is there another, more worrisome cause? If anyone has anything to share, I'd be grateful.

Thanks.

28-Mar Fitness Journal

Category: Fitness

I shouldn't weigh myself daily - too many fluctuations, too micro-managing. But I desparately need something to help keep me on track. So for now I will weigh myself daily.

Weight = 150.8 (-1lb) (Don't get excited.)

Food journal:
B TH steeped tea w 2M, 1S
B (homemade) banana chocolate chip muffin
B jeunesse yogurt (0g fat)
L 4 sm slices whole wheat baguette
L 2 fig newtons (PC brand)
S jeunesse yogurt (0g fat)
S apple
D few 'hint of lime' Doritos
D eggwich (toasted bagel, 1 sl turkey bacon, 1 organic egg fried in bit of butter, 1 sl cheddare cheese)

Didn't really get to eat lunch today - no time to nuke my leftover pasta. Too bad!

Excercise:
Ran!!!! After a 17 day layoff (hah) I did my usual 5km run. Was slow. But took the dog and my music and had a good time. Goal is to run 2/3 d on Fri/Sat/Sun, which would be 3 runs this week. A good start.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Or "Why am I getting fat?" (27-Mar Food Journal)

Because I am lacking all self-discipline. Whereas in the year after my son was born I ran because I was depressed and trying to get away from my situation, I am no longer depressed. I am loving (nearly) every moment with my son. I am loving my job, even if I am working too many hours. So I am completely, absolutely lacking 1) the motivation to run and 2) the time to run. And I am eating entirely too much for entirely the wrong reasons. Hmph. Oh, and I am still struggling to recover from plantar fasciitis (sp?). Expensive orthotics or not, I still have heel pain.

Today I weigh 151.8 pounds.
Jan-02: My pre-pre-pregnancy weight was 130, when I was running marathons/half-marathons, eating right and very focused on me. And wasn't depressed about not being pregnant. And it was proposed that I was too thin (at 5'5" - I think not!), so I gained some weight.

Jan-03: My pre-pregnancy weight was 140.
Sep-03: My son is born. I weigh a whopping 195 pounds. I gained 55 pounds in pg. Ugh.
Jan-05: About 16 months post-partum, I had gotten back to 140, and was quite happy. Then the upward trend started again.
Today: 151.8. I cannot keep doing this!

Today's food journal:
B detour bar
B source yogurt
B TH steeped tea, 2M, 1S
S gumballs (10)
L leftover cassoulet (13g fat) [recipe from Eating Well magazine - I love this mag!]
L banana choc chip muffin
D beef tortellini w/pasta sauce, parm cheese
D 3-4 pcs poppycock (2g fat?)
D TH steeped tea, 2M, 1S
S ThinAddictives cookies (3g fat)
Evaluation?
Reasonable. Now if I can eat like this and add exercise back in, maybe I can get the scale to move the other way!

Note: I was entering all this in fitday.com, but it was taking entirely too long, and I lost patience with it. Keeping a journal has worked for me before, albeit on paper and it was many years ago.

First order of business

First technical challenges:
1. Figure out how to change default font/size settings
2. Figure out how to add categories to blog. So I can sort by topic. (Is this beyond what blogger can do?)

Also:
  • create "about"
  • add photo. Probably of dog. :p

First post. Ever.

So I'm joining the tens of thousands creating blogs. Mine will be equally boring as the rest of 'em, I'm sure. (Thus the title "Extraordinarily Ordinary".)

What got my ass into gear on this one? My desire to create some accountability to myself that I will stop this horrible trend of gaining weight and lose some.

I also need a place to explore my son's health issues, parenting questions, etc.


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