Struggling

So I've been struggling with the thrush and diet thing. A lot. I'm doing okay, but it is really frustrating to have such a limited diet. I haven't had a chai in over nine weeks. I miss basic stuff like bread. And Halloween candy. I know it's not worth cheating - Pepperette and I will both pay dearly if I do. I put cheese in our omelet the other day and paid for it for a week with a flare-up of pain. Now the thrush is pretty good, not gone, but as good as it's been in eight months. And still I find myself missing all the food I can't eat. I am also heartily sick of cooking every freaking meal I eat. What I wouldn't do for someone to cook for me!



Why am I still breastfeeding if it's caused so much pain? So many reasons.

1. I survived 10 months of on and off thrush pain with LC. I can survive it again.


2. I nursed LC until he self-weaned at 2.5 years . I have to do the same for Pepperette.


3. When the pain is low, nursing is wonderful. Knowing that my body makes this milk especially for her, watching her drink, knowing that it's so good for her.


4. It's not just for nutrition now, but for comfort too.


5. Quitting (especially when the thrush was the worst, around August) would have crushed me. I would not have been able to let myself off the hook.

I went to my local La Leche League meeting this week. And I'll be at another breastfeeding support group on Friday. I go to give and receive support. It helps reinforce to me why I'm doing this and why it's so important.

My name is Chili and I'm a lactivist.