Not-so-strangely silent (aka What an Interesting Month)

So interweb. How are you? It's been an interesting month since I last posted.

29-Jun:
At 3 o'clock in the afternoon, my employer announced that they are closing down the engineering center that employs me. Everyone is gone - 200 engineers and managers. Quite a shock. Some people are being "separated" (that's the term du jour, apparently) in September, most in December and a few in March. Holy shit. In some ways this news is a total shock. In hindsight, there were some warnings. None of which I should talk about here, since I do want to remain employed until my separation date.

The part that really sucks is that I like it here. I was really getting into the grove in my role, finding a lot of satisfaction in it. Felt like I was making a difference. An impact.

That night, Mr. Chili and I talked a lot. About different scenarios.

I guess the only good thing is that I updated my resume in April, so it didn't need much tweaking to be ready. I was considering the possibility of leaving my employer for another job, very interesting, very challenging. But that opportunity fizzled out, and I let it go. Like I said, I was really enjoying my job.

Now? After a month, I have regained some motivation and momentum. It took a while. It's hard to be motivated. It's hard not to think "fuck you". And "what are they going to do? Fire me?" But I'm pretty much over that and I want to finish things up and leave them in a good state.

The severance package really bites. It's so small that the message I'm getting is, "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out". It's disappointing, because my employer is usually a pretty classy. I know that past layoffs have had much better packages. So I have no incentive to stay for my package. I just want to get the hell out of here.

And then it got more complicated.