House of Plague, title relinquished

I am very happy to report that we are all healthy. (Why do I feel a sense of doom?)



Hah. I wrote that on Feb 28. We have been healthy, for the most part, since then. And busy. And I have a lot on my mind about the end of my maternity leave, Pepperette's first birthday, looking for a job, LC's skating lesson fiasco, Pepperette's surprising egg allergy, continued thrush misery, etc.

I'll be back with more on all that later. I just wanted to let (no one) know that we are healthy and have survived the first day of March break.

House of plague, part II

I referred to our humble abode as the "House of Plague" in a recent post as a JOKE. I thought that LC having scarlet fever and strep throat, and Pepperette having a nasty cold that took both kids out for two weeks was enough. I was not looking for more pestillence to befall us. (Oh I love being dramatic - it is so much fun.) Let's recap the past few days, shall we?

Wednesday:

Mr. Chili comes home feeling sick. He has an upset stomach, aches, fever, chills. He promptly isolates himself in a bid to save the rest of us from exposure. I fervetently hope that he ate something bad and that he is not contagious.

Thursday:

Mr. Chili takes a sick day. For the first time since 2004. The man just does not get sick. I am alternately worried and frustrated by the fact that he spends all day in bed, sleeping. Hey, I didn't say that I'm a nice person. I watch everyone else, no symptoms. Whew.

Friday:

Mr. Chili heads to work, even though he still feels like crap. This is because LC doesn't go to school on Fridays and frankly, work is more restful. The kids and I have a good day. No one else is sick. Dare I hope that we're out of the woods?

Saturday:

A typical day. I go for a run, we go grocery shopping, we have dinner/playdate with friends. At 10:30pm, Pepperette sits up in bed and starts projectile vomiting. She has never done this before. LC didn't throw up for the first time until he was two-ish. Mr. Chili and I are amazed at how much her stomach holds. Poor Pepperette vomits about ten times through the night. We are stuck in an endless hell of gurgling stomach, vomit, clean up, lie down until the next time. Pepperette is so tired that she is passing out in my arms immediately after vomiting. The only good thing in all this is that LC sleeps through it all.

Sunday:

Mr. Chili and I are exhausted. We hang around the house all day. Pepperette vomits a few more times. I keep nursing her as often as she wants. I am so grateful in all of this to be breastfeeding - I can't imagine how much sicker she would be. We limp through the day by letting LC watch obscene amounts of TV.

Monday:

A brand new provincial holiday "Family Day" created by the premier to get more votes. The problem with this holiday? Only about 40% of people in the province actually get the day of, but all daycares, schools, libraries, stores are closed. Genius, I tell ya. So I've got both kids and one of them is still really sick. Pepperette has stopped vomiting, but now has a fever and diarrhea. Another day where the TV was on constantly. Mr. Chili tries to come home early, but gets stuck at the office. He's still feeling crappy, and I am fighting it too. Pepperette is whiney and clingy all day. My smiley baby is nowhere to be found.

Tuesday:

LC heads to school, Mr. Chili to work. Pepperette's fever is lower, but she is still having awful diarrhea. It is awful. I can barely keep up with the laundry. At least Pepperette is starting to smile again. LC comes home from school complaining of a sore stomach. He refuses all snacks and dinner. He just lays on the couch. This is not normal. I was supposed to attend a meeting at 7pm, but between the sick kiddies and my excessive queasiness, I decide to stay home. We all go to bed early. Pepperette has a reasonably good sleep. LC wakes up at 11pm and vomits. He tried to make it to the bathroom in time. It was close, but not close enough. More Lysol wipes, more laundry, more cleaning up. Fortunately Pepperette sleeps through the excitement. Another long night, filled with false (puke) alarms, a restless Pepperette and a feverish, achy momma.

Wednesday:

It's been a week since the sickness started. I'm sick, Pepperette's fever is gone but her diarrhea persists, LC has only thrown up once - maybe he will only have a mild version of this bug, Mr. Chili is feeling achy again but went to work since it is more restful than being at home with two sick kids.

Sometimes it really sucks to be the mom. No sick days. Can't lie down and rest because there is always someone calling for you. I hardly slept last night because of the aches and chills. And did I mention how much fun it is to nurse the baby while you have diarrhea? Fun times.

Heavy on my mind

I've got a lot on my mind right now. Some of these are worthy of an entire post.

And some (all?) clearly are not worthy of a post at all. What I'm struggling with is that my whines are minor. I lead a relatively privileged middle class existence. Yeah, I've had some sucky stuff happen but putting it in perspective, I still have a loving spouse and two health kids. What I really need is to get myself over to Wednesday Whining - it's the perfect place for my whines. Too bad I keep forgetting until, oh, Thursday.

Since I am constrained by time, as ever, I'll just throw down some bullets.

• LC had a really bad evening last night. Pickup from Montessori was a typical nightmare - as soon as Mr. Chili showed up, LC started running around, grabbing fruit from the snack bowl, acting manic. He proceeding to not listen, meltdown and ocassionally get violent. I wish I could convey how truly frustrating/exasperating and just plain awful his behaviour is, but I'm too exhausted and demoralized to write it all down. Why did I think four was a good age? I try really, really hard not to let my mind wander into the "how badly am I fucking this parenting gig up?" territory, but it's hard.


• Job stress. Or should I say unemployment stress. I am in denial about job hunting. I know that it is going to be really hard to find a good job in my industry that will let me work part-time. I have no good ideas about how to start my search. I have all these vague hopes pinned on the outplacement company that I'm starting with in early March. I keep hoping that someone is going to drop the perfect job in my lap. It just doesn't work that way. I know. I need to get real and serious and start looking. But it's hard and I fight myself. I keep squishing down the stress and then it bubbles up and I get all snippy and take it out on the people I love.


• Birthday whine. My birthday was over a month ago. My mom & stepfather were away somewhere warm. They didn't call to wish me a happy birthday. Nor did my only sibling. I know it's petty, but I wish my mom had at least said something when they got home.


• Thrush whine. I am so sick of of these freaking flareups. Every time I think the thrush is under control, I get 2-4 days pain-free and then it's back. I'm tired of the pain, of the awful diaper rash that flares up on Pepperette, of not being able to eat anything. I feel so defective. I don't know how much longer I can keep going.


• Materialistic whine. Mr. Chili is awesome. And I am an ungrateful bitch for saying this, but damn I am disappointed about the complete lack of card and/or presents for both our wedding anniversary and Valentine's Day. And then there was something Mr. Chili talked about buying for me for my birthday and to commemorate the birth of Pepperette that he now says I should just go ahead and get myself. And I can. But way to kill the romance. It's just not the same.


• Car whine. Mr. Chili was in a car accident last week. He's okay, he was a little stiff and sore for a few days. The bad news is that the insurance company is probably going to write off the car. This really bites. I am unemployed, just finishing a year of maternity leave. We are not in a good financial position to buy a car. The car is paid for, is about seven years old and runs well. But on paper it is not worth much. To the insurance co. it isn't worth fixing. But the amount they're likely to offer isn't going to be enough to buy another car. This is just not a good time. Oh and we will become a one-car family while we wait. Mr. Chili works a fair distance from home. And his work is tough to access with public transit. He has to have the car. Which means I will have to drop LC at Montessori, drive Mr. Chili to work, arriving home aboutan hour later. Lather, rinse, repeat at the end of the day. Oh what fun!

Okay. Even I am sick of my whining. Must get some sleep, hope the thrush subsides a bit tomorrow so I can feel a little more positive and be a better mom and a little easier to live with.

Lessons in compassion?

We were in a fast food restaurant eating lunch over the weekend when I bit the inside of my cheek. Hard. I yelped and held my hand to my cheek.

LC: Mommy! Are you okay?

Me: (touched by the question. Wondering if LC is finally developing a sense of compassion.) Yes, I'm okay.

LC: Good. Now I can laugh. (And he lets out a raucous laugh.)

Mr. Chili choked on his drink and had to turn his head because he was laughing so hard. I'll admit that my lips were twitching too. Clever bugger.

Strawberries!

It's been a pretty exciting week on the thrush front. I am virtually pain-free. And I have tried some new foods! It's sad how excited I was to eat one third of an Asian pear on Wednesday. Pepperette had some too. Yesterday, I ate chopped strawberries mixed with Balkan style high-fat unsweetened yogurt. It was the first strawberry I've had in six months. Mr. Chili said I had the hugest smile on my face while I was eating it. Sad, but true. I have hope that I'll be able to expand my diet. I can't see being able to eat sugar or anything fermented, but maybe I'll be able add more fruit and thus more variety into my diet.

In other news, this week a good friend invited me to attend a taping of a daytime talk show. We were both able to arrange childcare, so off we went. We took the commuter train from our suburb to downtown Toronto. We were in the (very small) studio audience for "The Steve and Chris Show" on CBC. It was a hoot. My inner geek was quite impressed with the mechanics of getting a show together. It takes a lot of people to get a show on the air. The set is really nice, as were all the people we met. As an added treat, they put makeup on all the audience members. Apparently in earlier shows they noticed the aufience looked really washed out. So they started putting makeup on everyone. I never wear makeup, so this was like a little bit of pampering. The show itself was fun, and I'm looking forward to watching it.

Whew! This has taken me three days to write. Sad but true. Things are better and the same 'round here. A brief "House of Plague" update: LC is better, Pepperette still has a crusty nose, I am still having aches and a sinus headache. Mr. Chili seems to be avoiding our germs so far. He does however have a honking big cold sore. Yum.

Happy Groundhog Day!

I mean - Happy Anniversary Mr. Chili. Six years ago today we were preparing to walk down the aisle. You were off with you best man and best friend having breakfast and just hanging out. I was in the hotel room with my sister and best friend getting my hair and makeup done. In a couple of hours we met in the hotel lobby for some pictures, then some more pics taken at the Allen Gardens greenhouse. Then it was off to the awesome restaurant where we got married and had our reception. The ceremony was perfect. We were so fortunate that everyone who was important to us was there. I can still remember my face being sore the next day from smiling so damned much. We truly had an amazing wedding day. I love you. More than I did six years ago. Thanks for giving me the best years of my life - so far. I firmly believe that life is only going to get better.

Love you.